The Hardest Thing Ever
by Stessa
Summary: 17-year-old Lillian Truscott was pretty sure that telling her best friend about her feelings was the hardest thing she'd ever have to do. 29-year-old Lillian Truscott would have to disagree. Oneshot. Liley drama.


**THE HARDEST THING EVER **

17-year-old Lillian Truscott was pretty sure that this was the hardest thing she'd ever have to do.

She'd done plenty of dangerous things in her time, she was such a tomboy, so climbing tress and getting scrapes and breaking limbs were pretty ordinary every-day doings for her. She'd been there plenty of times, but she'd never done anything remotely close to this. See, she wasn't so good with... _feelings_.

Those feelings, they could really fuck her up.

Boyfriends came and went, and she'd been there too, but it had never been so emotionally entangled as this was right now. It was quite confusing to her, because she wasn't even sure how she ended up there, but the fact was that she had, and now she had to work herself out of it, somehow find a way out of her constant misery, and to do that, she'd have to do this, and this was not so easy.

Even thinking about it made her head ache (she'd never quite been good at thinking too; it was easier to just... go with the flow). But she knew she had to do this; she knew she had to spill her secret, or she would go absolutely crazy very, very soon.

"Hardest thing ever, hardest thing ever, hardest thing ever..." Lilly mumbled to herself, over and over, as she kicked her foot towards the ground to get more wind in her hair, as her skateboard flew across the lumpy asphalt. It had been her mantra since the second she decided to do this, and now she just couldn't stop repeating it to herself – she needed to keep her thoughts on something, or she might as well just bury herself.

How in the world was she going to tell her best friend – Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana – that she was in love with her? How was she going to explain to her, that she wanted nothing more than to push her against the nearest wall and let her lips ravish every part of her body?

She'd never been good at telling people she liked them. _Never_. But it wasn't exactly making it easier that this was now her best friend – a girl – whom she'd known for many years, and just recently discovered anew; she now saw her in a completely different light, though the sun was always up in Malibu. Miley didn't even know that she was into girls. Well... she might have a slight suspicion, because rumours flew around campus and Miley did like to gossip. But Lilly had never told her in any words that she liked girls. She'd only explored with a few girls on a few dates and it had confirmed her in her fears; this thing she felt for Miley, it wasn't just extreme love for her bestie, it was so much more, and it was going to tare her apart, if she didn't do something about it.

Lilly hopped off her skateboard as she reached Miley's house. Setting a foot on its rear to flip it into her hands, she stared at the beautiful beach house with her heart halfway up her throat. She had no idea how she was going to say this. She knew Miley, she knew her better than perhaps anyone else, but this was a subject they'd never talked about before. She had no idea if Miley was open-minded or if she was going to hate her. But she knew that if their friendship was real, then they'd work through it, no matter what Miley's reaction might be.

Lilly unclasped her helmet and stuck it under one armpit, while she tried to juggle holding her skateboard and fixing her hair, as she went up the stairs to the glass door into the house. She could see through it, that Robbie Ray was on the couch, watching TV, but she knew that Miley was home today, because she had a paper due to tomorrow in AP Biology and she hadn't exactly started it yet.

Lilly took in a deep breath, and though she wanted to turn back around more than anything, she knew she couldn't do it, not now. She had to come clear, so she raised her closed fist and knocked two times on the glass. Robbie Ray looked up immediately and a happy smile erupted on his face when he saw who it was. He waved her inside and she followed orders, placing her skateboard against the wall with her helmet next to it.

"They're behind by three points." he mumbled and pointed towards his TV. "Come watch football with me, Miles is workin' on her paper."

Lilly leaned herself towards the back of the couch and let her eyes follow the players for a few seconds. She could delay the final conversation as long as she wanted to, but she knew that it was going to happen, so talking to Robbie would not stop that – it'd only make it happen later and make her more nervous. "I know she is, Mr. S." Lilly replied pushed herself away from the couch, "This is important though, so her paper will have to wait."

Robbie Ray turned his head slightly and gave her a confused look, "Are ya' alright, Lilly? Everythin' OK?"

He sounded so concerned and Lilly loved him for it. "No, it's just – girl stuff, y'know?"

Robbie Ray looked confused, but he turned back around and that was permission enough for Lilly, so she crossed the room and quickly climbed the staircase. She could hear Miley humming as she walked down the small hallway, and she smiled to herself, loving that sound more than any other sound. Her palms started sweating, but she wiped it off in her jeans, before she pushed Miley's door open and peaked inside.

Miley's back was to her as she sat above her laptop, her fingers typing rapidly across the keys on her keyboard. Her hair was pulled to one side, her neck was exposed and Lilly gazed longingly at it, wanting to run a finger across the sun-kissed skin and place a gentle, loving kiss there. But she controlled herself and took a step closer. Miley couldn't hear her because she had her iPod on, with both headphones in her ears, and she was humming along to the music, which Lilly could just make out to be some sort of love song.

The blonde smiled to herself and got out her phone. She quickly typed 'Hello' with a happy smiley-face and sent it off to Miley. Two seconds later Miley's phone buzzed next to her on the table, and reading's Lilly's text along with Lilly's mind, she turned around on her office chair. A big smile – much like the one Robbie Ray had just given her downstairs – came onto Miley's face as well.

"Lilly!" she cheered and got off the chair to give her best friend a hug. She didn't seem to mind that she was interrupted in her very important paper.

They fell onto her bed in a mess and sat there closely together, "How's your paper going?" Lilly questioned, mentally telling her heart to calm down before it moved right out of her chest.

Miley glanced briefly towards her laptop, "Weeeell," she begun, dragging out the 'well' as long as possible, "I really like the cover I made."

She finished off with a typical Miley-smile and Lilly couldn't help but giggle.

"How did ya' get in here? I thought my Dad wouldn't let anyone enter the house." Miley continued to ask, playing with the ends of her beautiful brown hair, which was longer now than it had ever been before.

Lilly didn't really want to talk about it, but that was why she had come here, so she was just going to have to suck it up. "I told him it was really important, and he let me slip right on up."

Miley's eyes went sort of wide, "Important? Did somethin' happen?"

Lilly shook her head and placed her hand on Miley's, "Nothing's wrong really... I just, I just have something that I need to say to you. And it can't wait, 'cuz – 'cuz it's waited long enough."

"Should I be worried?" Miley questioned, giving Lilly the total scan; the look she always did when she tried to read her mind. Though so far, she had been particularly far-off every time.

Lilly shook her head again, "I wouldn't worry Miley, I just need to say this to you."

Miley arched an eyebrow then, "Well go on!" she said, "Spit it out!"

She was always so impatient, and though it could be annoying, it was also one of the traits Lilly loved most about her. "You know how I've not really had a boyfriend since Oliver, right?"

Miley nodded. "Yeah I know! I don't understand how your break-up can still bother ya' that much, I mean, I know ya' loved him and everythin', but he was also a bit of a dork, and of course it must hurt ya' to see him with Claire, but she's really not that cute – have ya' seen her thighs? They're _huge._"

Lilly reached a hand out and covered Miley's mouth, which effectively ended her rant. The way she always babbled and babbled was another thing Lilly found so adorable, though sometimes it could be hell. "Miley!" Lilly said and gave her a certain look, "It has nothing to do with Oliver, he's happy, I'm happy for him, 'kay?"

Miley pushed Lilly's hand aside and kept her own one on her mouth instead. She gave a slight nod.

"Good." Lilly said and took in a deep breath as she tried to get back on track. "So, I haven't really had any boyfriends, and there's a really good reason for that."

Miley couldn't keep quiet for very long (Lilly adored this too, though it did get very annoying), "There is? What is it?"

Another look and Lilly could continue, "I've been – I've been experimenting... if you will."

The brunette looked utterly confused. "Experimentin'?"

"With girls." Lilly confirmed, now just jumping into it, dropping the bomb with crossed fingers, while she hoped this would not end badly. She couldn't stand to lose Miley, not the only person who had ever really gotten her. "I've been experimenting with girls, Miley."

Taking in a shaky breath, Miley squeezed her eyes together in confusion. "...I'm still not sure exactly where ya're goin' with this, Lilly."

"Miley, I'm gay."

There. She said it.

"I'm gay and I'm completely in love with you."

That had to be thrown in there as well – just for good measure, and so everything would be out in the open. The only thing to worry about now then was the reaction she'd feared so much.

There wasn't much of a reaction so far though. Miley was completely still next to her. Her mouth was halfway open and her eyes were still suspiciously squeezed together, and it did not look like she had any sort of reaction for the huge news she'd just been presented to. She looked particularly... frozen.

Lilly snapped her fingers in front of her head like in some cliché teenage movie. "Miley?" she slowly tried, "Miles? Hello, MI-LEY?"

At that, Miley reached a hand up and slowly pushed Lilly's hands aside, while she turned her head slightly and looked straight at Lilly. "Excuse me?" she cleared her throat and raised a sharp eyebrow.

Lilly could immediately feel that something was wrong. The air seemed to freeze completely between them, and Miley seemed so far away, even though she was sitting right next to her. There was something in the air now, something that couldn't just be wiped away with a giggle and a whispered 'I'm sorry' like they so usually solved their problems. This was bigger, this was more. This was _wrong_.

The tomboy pushed herself slightly away from the other girl, "You – you heard me... Miley." she stuttered out in a whisper.

Miley drew in another breath as she seemed to let everything settle, and within a second she was on her feet and on the floor, standing dangerously in front of Lilly, bigger and more intimidating than she'd ever been before. "What's this, Lilly?" Miley demanded to know in a harsh voice, "What are ya' sayin', are ya' gay, are ya' attracted to me? Have ya' been sneakin' glances at me at sleepovers, have ya' been checkin' me out?"

Lilly's eyes went wide and she quickly shook her head, "It's not like that, Miley! You _know_ me, I'd never do that, I'm just telling you how I feel, I'm just letting you know, because I can't stand to live like this anymore. Not so close to you, and still you're not mine. It's been driving me insane!"

Before she had been able to control herself, she'd slipped everything out, gotten everything off her chest; all she had thought of, wanted, feared, hoped for... everything had been said now, it was _on_ the table.

Miley swung her curly mane onto her back and put both hands in her sides, "I don't know ya', Lilly, whatever ya're saying, ya're a stranger to me. These words comin' off ya' lips, they're not real, they can't be real."

Lilly didn't know who she felt most sorry for at the moment – Miley or herself. Miley looked so confused, so utterly not able to understand what was going on, what she was being told. Or herself, the girl who had let her heart be open, but was getting shot down. _Completely_.

"Miles..." she softly begun, looking up at her friend from beneath her bangs, "It's real. It's very real. I'm telling you this, because I need to clear the air. I'm in love with you. Deal with it, please. Do something, tell me what you think? I just – I need to know what you think."

Miley stared at her for a what must have been a minute; she just stood there, completely motionless, and stared at her through the few curls that had escaped her fancy hairdo. She looked beautiful, her eyes scanning Lilly's face with questions in them. But Lilly had a bad feeling about it, her inside seemed to freeze, she was cold beneath her skin, and it prickled everywhere; she wanted to run, to get away from there, to escape this moment, escape her life. She had been right.

The hardest thing ever.

"I'll deal with it." Miley softly begun, her voice spilling across her lips in her heavy accent. "This is not OK, Lilly, it's not. Let me tell ya' what I think, OK? I think ya' need to leave."

"But- but Miley..."

She couldn't do this; she could not throw her out like that, not because of this. It was stupid, it was something they could work through, they'd been through tougher things before, they always survived, they _always_ did. It was stupid to throw this away. Miley was stupid to give up. She – Lilly herself – was stupid to talk about it, to not just keep it to herself. Why had she needed to get it off her chest? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"Leave. Just leave please."

Lilly couldn't believe she was doing this, that she was staring at her with those cold eyes, pointing at the door, as if she wasn't the person she used to call her best friend. The blonde slowly got off the bed; she had no idea what to do or say, no idea how to react, how to pursue Miley to listen to her, to let her stay. She swallowed lightly, "Miley, why are you doing this...?"

Miley set her jaw, "I don't hang out with lesbos."

Lilly could feel the tears pressing behind her eyelids, and not wanting Miley to see her cry, to see how hurt she felt, she hurried out of the familiar bedroom and closed the door behind her. Safely in the hallway, she let the tears fall, gently sliding down her cheeks.

How could she do this to them, to their friendship? How could she ignore all the good times they'd spent together, how perfect they'd always been as best friends? The secrets they shared, the sleepovers they had? How could she just drop it like it was nothing? Lilly had never had a girlfriend before, she'd always only had boyfriends, and it had been so nice to do girl things, even if she wasn't the most girly person.

Drawing in a shaky breath, Lilly angrily wiped off her face and marched down the hallway. She needed to get out of there; she needed to leave this house of pain and memories. There was no need sticking around, Miley – that, that, that _bitch_! - wouldn't change her mind; she wouldn't catch up with her and say she loved her too. That only happened in cheesy films and novels, it wasn't true, it wasn't real life. Real life was pain and anger, and never finding happiness. Lilly could agree to that without seconds thoughts.

She crossed the living room and grabbed her skateboard, ready to get out of there and skate her thoughts away, but of course Robbie Ray, the talker, was ready to have a chat with her.

"Hey there Lilly, did ya' girls have a nice talk?"

She turned around and tried to get herself together, but she must have looked more like a mess than she'd suspected. More tears must have fallen than she'd thought, leaving mascara traces down her pale cheeks, because Robbie Ray looked very surprised.

"Did somethin' happen?" he worriedly asked her, briefly putting his game on mute.

Lilly wiped her cheek again and stuttered, "We had a – a fight, Mr. S. Nothing to worry about." she tried to finish with a smile, but she was pretty sure it came out more like a grimace.

Robbie Ray looked like the concerned father as usually, "Don't worry 'bout it, Lilly, I'm pretty sure ya' two will be makin' up, talkin' 'bout guys again, in no time."

Lilly glanced towards the hallway, remembering what had just occurred upstairs. Not happy to say this to Robbie Ray, and devastated to admit this to herself, she shook her head at him, "No, Mr. S., I don't think so... This is a little more serious than that."

She flipped her skateboard into her arms and pushed the door open. Stepping outside, she let the door fall shut behind her, threw her skateboard on the ground, clasped her helmet, and set off down the street.

–

29-year-old Lillian Truscott knew, that had she been a teenager right now, she would have labelled this as the hardest thing she'd ever have to do.

Unfortunately, she wasn't 17 again, she was 29 years of age, an adult, her own person, and she had been through enough to know that there was no such thing as 'the hardest thing ever'. Through her entire life, she'd always labelled new episodes, new challenges as the hardest thing she'd have to do.

Skating on her first skateboard, building a tree house with Oliver, talking to the new weird girl, standing up to Amber and Ashley, kissing Oliver, breaking up with Oliver, singing in front of people, telling Miley.

All those things had, once-upon-a-time, been labelled as the hardest thing she'd ever have to do.

But that didn't exist. It didn't, because life threw stuff at everyone, and if she wanted to, she could keep pointing out things that'd be hard for her, things that'd cause her heart to beat faster than usually. But new things happened all the time, and instead of labelling them, she was going to live them and not think second thoughts before she jumped into any of them.

That was the life policy that had made her come out to her parents, ask her first girlfriend out, stay away when Miley said she should, parachuted out of a plane and held a tarantula – just to name a few. She'd done all that, because she believed that there was no such thing as the hardest thing ever. Not anymore.

She was pretty sure though, that had there been, this would have been another one of the kind.

Lilly climbed out of the taxi and paid the driver before she smacked the door shut and watched the cab drive off, while she tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach. She breathed out softly and turned around, facing the entrance to Seaview High School for the first time in ten years. It looked all the same to her, nothing much had changed, except for the fact that it was not countless of teenagers running across the tiles with their backpacks and rucksacks, trying to make it to class on time, instead, it was grown-up people, all dressed in fancy dresses and tuxedos, getting in line to get their name tags because tonight was reunion night, and they were all going to be gathered again for the first time in ten years.

Lilly smoothed out her deep green strapless dress and swung her small black purse over her shoulder to make sure she didn't accidentally drop it. She ran her fingers through her hair a few times and cursed the high heels she'd been pursued into wearing tonight.

"Of course the dress would have sucked ass with sneakers." the blonde mumbled to herself and decided she better face the music. She had in no way associated with anyone from high school after they graduated and the last few years of school she'd hung out more with her skater friends than she'd attended classes, but at least she got her diploma anyway.

A line was forming outside the entrance where she was supposed to sign in and get her name tag. She got in behind someone she vaguely recognized from her old Geometry class and what must be his wife. _Of course_ people brought their respective others. If they had one anyway.

Lilly studied her black nails as the line moved slowly forward. She could actually have brought someone, it wasn't like she was single or anything, but she'd rather go alone. It wasn't like she was married to Jennifer, but they had been dating a year, and Jenny was... Jenny was the most possible love of her life. Though she preferred not to use that label too.

Finally she was at the front of the line and was met by a too-cheerful, "Hello, welcome to our reunion, what's your name?"

Lilly looked up from her nails and gave a stiff smile, "Lilly Tru-"

"Lilly Truscott! Wow, you look _so_ good!"

Lilly made a face as she tried to place the cheery person somewhere in her memory.

The other woman smiled, "I'm Sarah, we had Mr. Corelli together, remember? We used to fight over fish in class."

A bell rung immediately at these words, and Lilly couldn't help but smile at her, because Sarah used to be a good person (which she probably still was), "Sarah, hi." Lilly smiled.

Sarah checked her name off on the paper she had in front of her and reached for her name tag, "No guest, I see? My husband is inside, you have to meet him later. Oliver Oken is in there too with his wife, I don't know if you know it, but she's _very _pregnant, eight months and something, I think she's gonna pop _very_ soon. Miley Stewart hasn't arrived yet, and if she had, I'm pretty sure everyone would be making a fuss of it already. Hannah Montana, can you believe it?"

Lilly gave her a stiff smile, grabbed the name tag she was holding out and quickly went inside. Talking about Miley was the last thing she wanted to do. She had actually planned to avoid her all evening just to make sure. Though – and she knew this – it would be hard to miss her. See, Miley Stewart was the celebrity of their year.

Lilly almost gagged by the thought of it. Before starting college, Hannah Montana had taken her final tour around the entire world to say goodbye to her fans. At her live – and last – concert in New York she had pulled off her wig and revealed her true self. After that, she'd finished college, but working like that hadn't really suited her, so she'd gotten a slot where Collin Lassiter usually had his talk-show, but after he retired, the network had been crazy after getting their hands on the former Hannah Montana. She still worked there everyday, but she had also released a few very successful country CDs, but the thing she was most famous for... that was for being out.

Lilly still tensed up completely every time she thought of it. Thought of the 17-year-old Miley who had so cold-heartedly shot her down, told her that she 'didn't hang out with lesbos', but now was one herself. A successful one at that. Lilly couldn't stand it, couldn't stand how a person could change like that and turn herself over completely. It almost made her gag every single time, yet she still couldn't help but watch her show every time she didn't have work, and she had both her CDs at home, claiming to Jennifer that she was a 'big country fan'. Even though she hated how Miley had turned out, she still couldn't help but sometimes sink into her old fantasies, think about those feelings she used to have, take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about the feeling she had for Miley, how she'd been so in love.

And at those times, all she wanted was to kiss her so badly.

Lilly drew in a breath as she entered the huge gymnasium where they used to have PE. Everything was decorated nicely for the evening, and a huge banner hung on the back wall, claiming that the reunion party was made with all organic materials.

Lilly smiled to herself. Sarah must have been doing this. Some people never change.

She grabbed a tall glass of sparkling champagne from the waiter who bid her welcome and stepped inside where a low music was playing in the background and people were chatting away, while eating food from the deliciously smelling buffet. Lilly wasn't particularly hungry because the butterflies in her stomach did not want to settle, so she pushed herself up against a wall and checked her cell phone.

There was a text from Jennifer.

_Missing you here already. The hotel bed is so cold without you. Love xo _

Lilly smiled to herself. There was a reason she loved Jennifer even if they had their differences and wasn't so serious, though they'd been together for more than a year. She was so sweet and kind, and she flew all the way back here with Lilly, not knowing if Lilly wanted her to tag along or not. When Lilly had decided she'd rather go alone, Jennifer had – without complaint – ordered a movie and room service and claimed she'd grab a cab and come pick her up whenever.

Lilly didn't know what it was, but every time Jennifer hinted moving in together, hinted getting rings to symbolize their love for each other, Lilly squirmed her way out of the conversation. Why couldn't she do that, why couldn't she settle down with Jennifer? She loved her more than anything, she was certain of that. But she felt like there was something not quite right about it, something that wasn't true. Like – she wasn't certain.

She hated herself for it, but that was the way it was.

Lilly stuck her phone back into her purse and glanced around the room again. Oh shit. There were Amber and Ashley, still attached to each other's hips. And crap, there was Jake Ryan. Could this get any worse?

Lilly's eyes zoomed in on the liquor table and she quickly zigzagged though the throng of mingling people on the floor and reached for the nearest drink she could get. She had just raised her hand to her mouth, when someone placed a hand on her arm.

She turned her head and was met by a pair of familiar eyes.

"Lilly!"

Fuck it. It was Oliver.

"It's so good to see you, I didn't know if you were coming." Oliver continued and wrapped his arms around her in an awkward hug. "I wasn't certain, 'cuz I know you live in New York now and everything..." he trailed off and let his arms fall to his sides again. "So." he shot her his charming smile, "How are you?"

Lilly took a long zip of her drink before she had the guts to answer him. "I'm – I'm good, I'm... staying at a hotel."

Oliver shook his head, "A hotel? Lilly, you should have called me, you could have stayed in our guest room, hotels are so expensive these days."

"Ohm, I didn't know that I had that option." Lilly confusedly mumbled, while Oliver placed an arm around her and started to walk them through the mass.

He continued to talk, obviously not having heard her, "You have to come meet Blair, my wife, you'll love her."

Lilly wasn't so sure about that, like she wasn't so sure about meeting Oliver again, but she let him lead her back to the other end of the room, where a very pregnant woman was sitting on a chair. As soon as they were close enough to her, Oliver let go of Lilly and rushed to her side, kneeling down to stroke the huge stomach.

"Blair, this is Lilly, remember how I told you about Lilly?"

Blair obviously had the pregnant glow around her, because she was shining and looking absolutely gorgeous as she reached a hand out to greet Lilly, "Hello, I'm Blair. Oliver has told me so much about you. Ex-girlfriend and ex-best friend? How did you manage to pull that one off?"

Lilly awkwardly laughed as she shook her hand, "I don't know what came over us when we dated. Hi, I'm Lilly."

This actually wasn't so bad.

Oliver stood up again and placed a protective hand on Blair's shoulder, "How are things in New York, Lilly? What did you end up doing?"

Lilly was glad that he wasn't talking about husbands and partners and everything, because her job was a much more secure subject. "I'm at the New York Police Department. Homicide."

Blair's eyes turned big. "Wow. That's impressive. I just work as the secretary at the paediatricians office."

Lilly gave her a warm smile. She was liking this woman more and more as the seconds ticked by. "It's really not that amazing. It's hard work, the hours suck, but I love it." she said and finished off her drink again. She hated to do this to Jennifer, but she was probably going to have to drag her to her hotel room later, because she had a feeling she was going to get drunk tonight.

"What about your other best friend, honey?" Blair asked then, and a tension immediately occurred between them, "Do I get to meet the famous Miley Stewart?"

Oliver wasn't aware of what had split Miley and Lilly's friendship for good, but he knew that something had happened because they had stopped speaking to each other, so he glanced at Lilly before he spoke, "I'm not even sure if she's coming with... with her work and everything." he mumbled.

Suddenly people started to clap rapidly and Lilly felt her heart rate speed up, because she _knew_ what that meant – the celebrity had arrived. Blair and Oliver turned their heads and Lilly withdrew herself into the nearest shadow to be as much out of sight as she could without disappearing completely.

As soon as people were done clapping of their 'loved' celebrity classmate, Sarah climbed the stage to welcome everyone, and their focus turned to that, and suddenly Miley stepped out of the mass on the middle of the floor, clearly searching for... something.

Lilly was pretty invisible from where she stood, but Miley's eyes had settled on Oliver and she was determinedly walking towards them now. Lilly wished then – like so many other times at her job – that she could be invisible.

Miley's smile actually looked sincere and true when she stopped in front of their Ollie-Trollie. "Oliver, hi!" she smiled, and Lilly could hear, that her accent was still the same (as if she hadn't heard that on TV).

"Miley." Oliver smiled and reached forward, giving her a hug too, much like he had given Lilly. "Miley, this is my wife, Blair."

Blair reached her hand out, and Lilly loved her for not acting like a completely star-struck fool just because she was meeting Miley Stewart, "Nice to meet you, Oliver has told me so much about your schemes in high school."

Miley laughed, "Nice to meet ya' too, and don't believe everythin' he tells ya'!" she winked and glanced at her huge stomach, "Is this ya' first?"

"Yeah it is." Blair confirmed, while Oliver nodded next to her.

"I might do that someday. Or I might adopt, I dunno." Miley commented, gazing longingly at the bump.

Blair smiled warmly at her, "I think it's really great what you're doing. Being so open about homosexuality, and how you're supporting the gay rights. The people need famous people to lead the way if we ever want equality."

Lilly nodded in confirmation in the shadows. If there was one thing Miley did, it was being out very loud, and very proud. And it had been good for them – more people were open about it simply because she was so famous. But that didn't mean she wanted to say that to her face. _Of course_ not.

"Thank ya'." Miley smiled to her, and then turned her head to Oliver, softly asking, "Hey Oliver, have ya' seen Lilly? When I arrived, Sarah said she was 'ready inside..."

Lilly could feel her heartbeat pick up again, and she placed her glass on the table next to her and tried to sneak off on her toes; she couldn't exactly walk on her heels because of these damn stilettos Jennifer had picked out for her.

Oliver was about to stand up for her, she could hear that, "No, she's-"

But Blair, who had no idea that she was messing things up, spoke quicker than him, "Oh Lilly? I already met her, she's right behind you."

And before Lilly could make a run for it, Miley had whipped around on the spot, and the blonde felt like a deer caught in the headlights, so to speak. Oliver placed a hand on his head and Blair was all smiles.

Lilly fell to her heels again, knowing there was no way she could escape now. "Hello." she simply said.

Miley's face erupted into a huge smile. "Lilly! Were ya' leaving? We must catch up, get on over here!"

Lilly locked her eyes with Oliver's, but turned and went back there nonetheless. She leaned herself against the wall next to Blair and crossed her arms. "Nice to see you again." she forced through her gritted teeth.

Miley's eyes were truly shining as she looked at her, giving her a total once-over. Lilly felt very uncomfortable, because it did not look like a 'I have to check if you've still got all your limbs'-look, but a 'I'm_ so_ checking you out'-look. "Ya' look good Lilly, how's life?"

"Life's life." Lilly replied and duck into her purse to find her cell phone; she had to check if Jennifer had replied, but there was nothing there (she was probably caught up in a movie starring either Jessica Alba or that hot Latina chick from _The L Word_). "What about you? No Hannah Montana, huh?"

Miley reached for a drink from a waiter who was just passing by, "It had to end someday, right?"

Lilly's smile was stiff as they locked their eyes, "And now you're _gay_. Huh?" she raised a point-proofing eyebrow at the end of the sentence.

Miley's smile stiffened immediately.

Oliver pulled Blair off of her chair, "We're gonna go get ourselves something to drink now, honey." he mumbled and supported her as they made their way – slowly – away from there, leaving the two former best friends in silence.

"Lilly, could we please-"

Lilly cut Miley off by raising a hand to stop her rant. She gave her a look before she reached for her cell phone and quickly sent a text off to Jennifer saying

_You need to come pick me up. NOW. I'll be outside._

She was not a person who ran away, but as she looked at Miley right now, she was torn because on one side she wanted to kick her ass for being such a stupid and clueless person, who'd shot her down, but on the other side, she wanted to push her up against the nearest wall and ravish her body like she'd dreamt of when she was 17. Neither one of the sides looked like a good choice, so it was better just to get away from there.

She stuck her phone into her purse again and gave Miley a look, "I have nothing to say to you, Miley Stewart." she whispered, and it took all her strength to tare her eyes away from Miley's ridiculously hot body and walk away from there.

She was halfway to the door, when Miley caught up with her. "Lilly, I know ya' must be mad at me, but can we please talk 'bout it? Ever since ya' moved to New York, I've regretted shootin' ya' down, rejectin' ya' like that, can we just-"

Lilly pushed through the glass doors and stepped outside, which affectively shut Miley off, since she was on the other side of the doors. She only had time to enjoy the quiet night for a few seconds though, before Miley was outside too.

"Lilly, please just listen to me!" she whined, while the wind blew her loose curls back and she looked hotter than in TV.

"I thought you didn't hang out with lesbos." Lilly threw right back at her, knowing that the hurt must be evident in her voice, because that one sentence had hunted her for years. "If you don't hang out with lesbos, how can you talk to one?"

Miley reached her hands out and planted one on each of her shoulders, "I was a kid then Lilly, I was stupid! Please just hear me out, will ya'?"

Lilly pushed her hands off, turned her side to her and crossed her arms again. She knew it wasn't a good idea, but she was drawn to her right now, drawn to hear her side of the story, to hear what was on her mind. She knew it would be safer and more clever if she said no and insisted to wait by herself, but for some reason she couldn't.

"You have until my cab gets here." Lilly said and turned her head to the side, locking her eyes with Miley's again.

Miley looked really relieved to be even getting that, and she quickly stepped over, so they were face to face again. "Lilly." she begun, her voice soft and caring, "I know how much I hurt ya' that day, I can't even believe I said those things to ya', but ya' have got to believe me when I say, that I've regretted lettin' ya' go ever since. I regretted not takin' that chance with ya', because after ya' left, ya' were all I could think 'bout."

Listening to this now, did not make it easier for Lilly to stay mad at her. It did not make it easier to not take that one step closer and lock their lips in a heavy kiss like she had wanted for so many years, like she dreamed of doing when she saw Miley's gorgeous face on TV every night. She was so sexy as she stood there, the wind blowing her hair to all sides, making her look wild and dangerous. Her dress clung to her every curve, and the cleavage only made Lilly want to dig her face in there and never come up for air. She wanted to run her hands over those hips and thighs, she wanted to see what was beneath that silky fabric. She wanted to kiss every inch of ivory skin, and it was wrong – _so wrong_ – because Miley had not treated her fairly, and this was not the way it was supposed to end tonight.

"Please respond to me, Lilly." Miley begged her, lifting up her chin so their eyes could lock.

For a second Lilly was embarrassed for letting her eyes settle too long on the valley between her breasts, but Miley didn't seem affected by it, so she brushed pass it too, "I don't know what to say to you, Miley. You hurt me. You really hurt me." she honestly whispered.

Miley stroked her finger across Lilly's cheek, "I know that, and don't think I don't regret it, but Lilly – ever since I realized I was into girls, I just, I just wanted to be with _you._" she paused and let her hand drop again, "All I thought 'bout was ya' comin' back to Malibu, comin' back so we could meet again and try us out."

Lilly's heart started to pick up even more speed when the words settled inside of her; Miley wanted to be with her, wanted to love her like she'd wanted to for so long. How could she not smile at the thought, at the idea? How could she not want to try it out?

Lilly let her eyes fall to the ground. "I don't know what to say to that, Miley..." she shifted her weight. This was killing her, it was really killing her.

"Lilly..."

A finger was placed beneath her chin and their eyes locked again. Before Lilly knew what she was going to do or say, before she could have any sort of reaction, Miley's face was getting closer; her entire smell surrounded her, and her breath tickled her upper lip.

Lilly closed her eyes and anticipated the moment she knew was coming. For so many years, for _so_ long, she'd dreamt of this, dreaming of kissing those exact lips, and she couldn't stop it now, not even when she knew what they had been through. All thoughts of Miley hurting her, of Miley's rejection and hard words, they went out of her head and seemed to fly off with the wind.

Just as their lips touched, Lilly's phone vibrated, and the picture of a beautiful redhead with freckles and green eyes entered her mind; the mental image of the girl she loved and cared for, of the girl who loved and cared for her as well, the girl who'd do anything for her, who'd jump out of her comfy hotel bed during one of her favourite movies and take a cab across town to safe her, that mental imagine entered her head, just as Miley's rose-red lips touched hers.

And suddenly, suddenly those lips didn't seem worth it. Suddenly she was reminded of those words who had been spoken, words that couldn't just be forgotten. Suddenly she had the urge to push Miley away, which was exactly what she did.

"I can't do this, Miley." she firmly said and stared at her, her eyes wide and determined, "You shot me down, okay? You really hurt me. You treated me worse than anyone else have ever done, and you were supposed to be my best friend." she paused and looked at Miley, who just stood there, completely surprised, "Those words you said. They can't be erased, they'll always be there, and they've effected me through my entire life. They changed me, _you _changed me." she shook her head and glanced to the side when she saw a taxi pull up to the curb, "I don't ever wanna go back."

"But-"

"Goodbye Miley." Lilly cut her off, and turned around, going straight for the cab where her loving girlfriend had just opened the door and was sticking her head out with a huge smile. Lilly's heart was still beating fast after their-almost kiss and the rant she'd just said, but she knew what she was going to do. As soon as she entered that hotel room with Jennifer, she was going to make love to her, and after that, when they were lying all cosy in bed, she was going to ask her to move in with her and get those symbolic rings.

17-year-old Lillian Truscott would have squirmed if she knew that this would happen; if she knew that someday in the future, she was going to turn down Miley Stewart.

But 29-year-old Lillian Truscott, she had to eat her words. Though she proclaimed to never label anything as 'the hardest thing ever', she was pretty sure she'd just done it.

Shooting down Miley Stewart?

Yup, that was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.

* * *

_Hello my dear readers! Thank you SO MUCH for tuning in. I realize it's been quite a while since I posted anything Hannah Montana related on this site, and I must say, it felt pretty damn good to be getting back into the Liley universe. Those two are just amazing to write, don't ya' think? ;-) _

_I have to explain myself for a second, so sorry if I ramble. I know a lot of you probably wished for a good Liley ending, I like those the best too, but I also realise, that most often, things just don't turn out perfectly in real life. Best friends just don't fall in love with each other like that, mostly the gay one gets shot down, as sad as it is. And though this is fiction, and that's why we ought to write the good romance, happy-ending stories, I couldn't resist writing this one. Because all the girls I've known who has opened up like this, they just get hurt. The twist with the reunion though, that was just to give Lilly a second chance to stand up for herself ;) those don't happen too often either. _

_Please tell me what you thought of this. I'd love to hear from every single one of you. Oh! And happy Christmas. :b _

_**Disclaimer; **I don't own Hannah Montana. _


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